THAT FIRST MEAL.

I often spend a good portion of my flights back home pondering what I want for my first meal back in the states. It changes from time to time but usually it involves a salad - strange, right?? It's just that most countries just don't. get. salads!!! Especially the concept of make-your-own salads. And after a gluttinous vacation filled with fatty, indulgent foods...it's nice to finally have a light meal. The salad that I've been ordering quite frequently as of late is the Country Style Salad topped with tuna from Grey Dog. There is something so ridiculously ADDICTING about their house vinaigrette - it is sweet and acidic and absolutely delicious. I find myself soaking up the last of its remains with the soft, herby focaccia bread they provide gratis. It is just a simple mix of greens, grape tomatos, cucumbers, pea shoots, and chick peas (I omit the red onions) but I could definitely eat it every day. For me, it was the perfect welcome-back meal to New York.


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TURKEY.

Oh, HAIII everyone!!!!! I realized I might not have announced to the blogosphere the fact that I've been in TURKEY over the past few days, which is why I have been somewhat MIA. Fear not, as I shall return to New York on Friday afternoon and will have plenty to blog about in the upcoming days. I leave you with a sneak peek at the peaceful waters of the Dalyan River.

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ACNE SURGERY.

OK, so like NOT TO GROSS EVERYONE OUT, but...I'm pretty sure that I'm suffering from a chronic case of ADULT ACNE. And perhaps my symptoms never actually diminished from my teenage years, but I am now approaching an age where I might be considered a GROWN-UP...which means my zits and blackheads now take on a new meaning...and have names like Prince...BKA "Adult Acne."


When you approach the age of 25, you begin to have a PRE-MIDLIFE-CRISIS. And you start over-analyzing EVERYTHING...including your forehead. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS ROADMAP THAT HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY CARVED ONTO MY FACE!?!?!


AND WHY DO I STILLLLLLLL SUFFER FROM ACNE!?!?!? I thought life was supposed to get better after puberty.


So the only solution is to run to the nearest dermatologist and beg him to prescribe the most expensive cure-all that money can buy. Unfortunately, my dermatologist seems to think he can make more money by suggesting that I use SUNSCREEN on my face rather than BOTOX. URGHHHH. That was a disappointment.

And as for the pimples and zits??? He suggested...ACNE SURGERY. Now that's what I was talking about!!! SURGERY, NEEDLES, SCALPELS, LASERS - I wanted RESULTS. FAST.


On the day of my ACNE SURGERY I strolled into the office, all bright-eyed and pimply. I settled myself into the patient's chair and enthusiastically awaited my procedure. The attendant came in and I asked her what exactly acne surgery entailed and what I should expect.

She replied, "Oh nothing, really."


And then proceeded to take out a MINISCULE METAL SPOON with a long handle.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Oh this is what I'm going to use to perform your acne surgery."

I am here to tell you that NO MEDICAL GOOD can come of a METAL SPOON.


And with that, she began SCRAPING and SQUEEZING and SCOOPING OUT my face with a METAL SPOON.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"UHH..A LITTLE." I replied, as she handed me a tissue and instructed me to apply pressure...apparently I was now BLEEDING.

WTF!!?!?!? I signed up for SURGERY. I didn't sign up to be PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED BY A METAL SPOON.


She then showed me the spoon and in it was enough oil to fry up a buffet-tray of hash browns.


I made her stop after my chin had been gnawed off as I couldn't handle any further nerve and tissue damage. I left with the same amount of acne on my face and now also some neato facial scarring on my chin.

I guess I'm going to just have to accept the fact that I'm growing old with these bad boys...which will eventually be BKA "Elderly Acne."

THE STANDARD GRILL.

I've had a series of "MEH"-restaurant experiences over the past few weeks and began to think to myself - Is this it? Have I gotten over eating!!?!? Well fear not, dear reader, you will not be subjected to COMIC BLOGGING for the rest of your lives because my past two dinners have proven acceptable enough to re-prompt my interest in food blogging.

The Standard Grill has long been on my list. The restaurant is truly magnificent - the windows let a spectacular amount of sunlight pour over the mixture of quaint, luxurious, and quirky interior. Plush, traditional, mahogany-colored leather seating mixed with simple, checkered place mats and a floor made entirely of pennies...it's like a picnic with the Kennedy's! I absolutely loved the atmosphere and vibe.


The friendly waiters whisked over a small serving of radishes and some crumbles of Parmesan cheese. Now that's different (OK, yea I saw the radish thing at ABC Kitchen...but the nuggets of cheese?? Brilliant).

We were also ASKED if we would be interested in a bread basket...since when did restaurants inquire about the necessity/desire for a bread basket!?!? I guess too many models and skinny bitches have run rampant through these Meatpacking District streets to warrant a fair warning that CARBS MIGHT TOUCH THIS TABLE!!!!!!!


I started off with the Chilled Avocado Soup - a salty, cool puree of avocado with chunks of peeky toe crab and small scattering of soft croutons. Usually I am against overt saltiness in food, but I actually really enjoyed this sodium-filled concoction. Extremely rich in flavor and textures.

For my main course I had a salad-like mixture of Chilled Lobster, White Beans, Celery, Green Goddess Dressing, and Caviar. How gorgeous is this dish!?!? All the components were well-dressed and worked together to create a refreshing entree. Absolutely lovely.


The Shaved Grapefruit Ice dessert is simply perfect if you need a little sweetness after dinner but don't feel like rolling home in agony and guilt. The shaved ice is SOFT (I don't know HOW they do this) and tastes like REAL grapefruit. Underneath is a tart layer of actual grapefruit chunks and a lightly sweet syrup to accentuate its natural flavors. A cooling and invigorating way to end a meal!!!

My meal at The Standard Grill was certainly a success. All dishes were perfect for a hot summer's eve and the scene was hip but not overbearingly so. Definitely looking forward to a return trip, especially for brunch!!

EMACK AND BOLIO'S.

Reporting live, with sticky hands, from Emack and Bolio's: this wacky ice cream joint (the slightly autistic brother to Ben & Jerry's) has caught my interest every time I walk down Houston Street. Having just had a spicy masala dosa for dinner, I was looking for something cool to calm the heat. Emack and Bolio's has a variety of unique flavors and also several appealing low-fat frozen yogurt options!!

I opted for two scoops - low-fat Key Lime Pie and low-fat Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip. Both of which were stellar and not at all low-in-taste-or-creaminess! The Key Lime Pie had soft chunks of crust in every bite!!! I really had to fight the hard battle at the end of my delicious journey because a layer of my napkin had intently adhered itself to my favorite part of any ice cream cone - the conic point. I controlled my xylophagia and threw the very last, perfect bite out...which leaves me wanting MOOREEEEEE. Stop in and try a flavor in one of their intense chocolate/candy-dipped cones!

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GUEST BLOG: INDIAN FOOD IN AMSTERDAM.

I was beyond surprised when Navneet "Caesar" Garodia volunteered to write a guest blog entry for Essential Luxuries. When he is not busy running the town, Nav can usually be found calculating math equations or watching 3D movies. Being as he is not from this country, his command of the English language is rather shoddy - short sleeves become "half sleeves," daiquiri becomes "dak-eerie," and ping pong becomes a sport. Nevertheless, with the help of Google translate, an electronic Hindi-English dictionary, and Thesaurus.com, Navneet was able to produce this nearly seamless blog post that follows. Without further ado...

---

Madras Indian Restaurant, Amsterdam
by Navneet Garodia
Translation by Google.com/Translate

Let me start off this guest blog by thanking you, o reader, for inspiring creativity. Since I'm a big fan of this blog (you are a close second), I am taking the liberty of sharing one of my culinary experiences with you.

My Euro trip began on 7/8/10, and I had gone more than a week without consuming Indian food. At this juncture, I would like to quote my uncle, who had once very famously said that a tiger can go a week without eating meat, but an Indian cannot go a week without eating Indian food. True to his theory, I succumbed to the aroma of Indian food on the 7th day, as I was walking through the streets of Amsterdam.

Madras Indian Restaurant looked like a typical Indian restaurant- the lighting was tastefully dim, there were a couple of TVs screening lavish song and dance sequences, with mellow Bollywood music playing in the background. The menu had a lot to offer, and did wonders to whet my appetite. Since I had been craving Indian food, I decided to go all out. I ordered 2 dishes- Mixed Vegetable Curry and Dal Makhni, along with an order of rice.


Within 30 minutes, I was regaled with the chef's offerings. However, what I saw wasn't really what I had been expecting. Dal Makhni, which is typically brown in color, was presented as a yellow lentil. I bit my lip.


The vegetable curry didn't do much to bolster my flagging spirit. There seemed to be more vegetables in the pot than gravy, and the dish was lacking in texture. I proceeded to scoop out my first spoonful and slop it over the rice.


As the flavor pervaded my taste buds, my discomfiture increased. The lentils tasted like corn, and the rice seemed slightly undercooked. I began to dread the thought of paying 16 Euros for this meal, and gulped down a whole glass of water. The idea of returning to New York and getting a table at Dhaba has never looked better!

Sparky

BIG BAMBU + CASCABEL.

Most of my Saturday was spent on the Upper East Side. I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to check out the American Women exhibition, the Picasso retrospective, and the Big Bambu installation on the Met's rooftop!!


Insanity!!! This crazy bamboo nest-like structure is made of 5000 bamboo poles and will be ever-changing and evolving throughout it's stay at on the Met's roof.


It is literally made of only bamboo and nylon rope...and it is strong enough to allow people to climb up to different levels of the structure!!! Keep in mind that it is necessary to sign up for guided tours if you wish to enter the elevated interior network.


I mean...how architecturally planned could this thing possibly be!??


Love the view from the rooftop through the bamboo poles.


We are all pandas!!!!

A few avenues away is Cascabel Taqueria - home of the luchador. Cascabel is a casual joint featuring Mexican street food with a creative twist.


After surviving the 6 train, having to walk through an art museum, being subjected to Picassos' DELIURIUM expressed via art...I had hit starvation levels. When they told me that it may be a 15-20 minute wait, I went all LUCHADOR on their asses...which only resulted in me having to wait outside.

Thankfully the wait was only about 5 minutes.


Tacos come in an order of two - I had the Pescadao Tacos for myself and shared an order of the Camaron Tacos with my dining partner. The fish tacos were disappointing - crispy yellowfin tuna belly with hearts of palm, cilantro, olives, and onions. The tuna was incredibly dry - I think they seared the tuna to its last dying breath and then deep fried it to top it off...which makes for one tough piece of fish. The shrimp taco was a bit better in terms of moisture level - it was topped with fresh oregano, garlic, chili oil, and black beans. Annnndddd another complaint: the size of these tacos made it extremely difficult to get one solid bite, which makes it extremely difficult to understand the cohesion (if any) of flavors.


My side of Frijoles (local black beans, queso fresco, onion, and cilantro) was pretty good.


My favorite part of the meal - hands down - was the ELOTE ASADO!!!!!! Grilled corn brushed in a Mexican aioli, rubbed down with lime juice, and heavily sprinkled with queso cojita and cascabel chili. YUMYUMYUM. The soft, tender kernels; melty cheese; juicy citrus flavors...I could really eat this for every meal.


Except then I would look like this every day.

BAR PITTI.

Long before I lived in West Village...heck...it might have even been long before I lived in Hell's Kitchen...I went to Bar Pitti for dinner and had a grand ol' time. The octopus stands out in my memory. Years later, Bar Pitti remains chic and its sidewalks are filled as soon as temperatures are tolerable enough for outdoor seating.

I went for a brunch on Saturday and was quite disappointed when scrambled eggs weren't on the menu. I guess they don't eat breakfast in Tuscany? Brunch turned, instead, into lunch.


The waiter brought around a chalkboard hastily strewn with Italian words - he ran down the specials list with impatience and became only more brusque when I had him repeat the list thrice over. Karma's a bitch. I began with the raw artichokes topped with thin slivers of shaved Parmesan, EVOO, and a nice grinding of fresh black pepper. I'm not sure if I like fresh artichokes over the canned ones that I believe I am normally served from salad bars...I'm used to a softer texture. I'm also not enough of an Italian-fanatic to celebrate the flavors of olive oil (I'm not even a bread-dipper...unless it come with balsamic vinegar), so its very noticeable flavors were lost to me.


I also ordered the Campagnola Panini - a nice soft, airy roll filled with spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, olive oil, and parmigiano cheese. Simple, warm (but not pressed as you would expect a panini to be), and satisfying.

There is not a whole lot to be said for the meal I had. Pretty straight forward and nothing worth blogging about..which is probably why it's taken me 4 days to finish this post. Literally. I can, however, comment on the complete lack of work ethic and consideration the waiters have at Bar Pitti. And without further ado, my TRIBUTE to HYPERBOLE AND A HALF:


My water glass is empty and I see you, my waiter, across the not-very-large outdoor dining area.


You look over at me and I take the opportunity to wave at you.


You continue talking to your friend (another waiter most likely ignoring some other table). I wave at you again, giving you the benefit of the doubt that you did not notice my chubby arm flailing in the air the first time.


You still continue talking to your coworker.


I am a raging, blubbering mess at this point - full on BODY PENDULUM. To the point where I am no longer seated.


If the NYFD or NYPD's response time were as slow, this island as we know it would no longer exist and city dwellers would possibly be extinct.


I've become even further dehydrated trying to flag you down (due to involuntary urination). And without even a blink, you finally decide to arrive.

So what do you think...is COMIC BLOGGING my new CALLING?!??! Yesssssssssssssssss.

YERBA BUENA: PERRY STREET.

Yerba Buena Perry Street was an un-calculated decision when my friend and I were randomly roaming the streets of West Village trying to find a place for dinner. But as soon as we entered, we knew it was the right choice. Much hipper than the LES version, this place was poppin' on a Wednesday evening - beautiful girls and handsome men (like seriously, I'm not usually one to oggle - in fact, I hate oggling - but there was some eye candy in the building!!!) filled the room with loud chatter and flowing libations.


We started off with the Guacamole - which had a few new tricks up its sleeve. It was served with a chipotle powder, red onion, and a dusting of queso fresco - YUM!


I decided to order a few small things for my meal. The Hamachi Taquitos were superb. Thin crispy shells (which actually had an acceptable sogginess-level once I drenched the puppies with lime juice) filled with yellowtail, pineapple, aji panca (chile pepper), radish, and habanero salsa. It sounds spicy but it really wasn't noticeably so. The sweetness, acidity, and spice all melded together wonderfully to flavor the taquitos.


I also ordered a side of Espinaca - sauteed spinach with dried figs. Who would have thought soft, sweet figs would pair so nicely with the metallic taste of spinach!?!


And a side of Arroz y Frijoles - yellow rice and black beans.


I also got to try a few of my friend's dishes. The Trio of Fries - watermelon, avocado, and hearts of palm. Truly the most unique fries I have ever had!! We both agreed the hearts of palm fries were the best of the bunch.


And Choclo - Peruvian corn with aji amarillo (yellow chile pepper) butter. There's something about the consistency of Peruvian corn that I do not like...it reminds me of lima beans.


We also shared the Dulce de Leche sundae - two scoops of dulce de leche ice cream with sliced bananas, candied pecans, and caramel sauce - SABROSO!!!!!

Definitely had a great meal at Yerba Buena Perry Street - loved the atmosphere, the energy, and of course the food!

NEW HAT.

I finally purchased a hat. Sweetness. Thank you, ARTH. With 4 stores in Japan, one in New York, and one in California - this store is for people looking for unique headwear. I wish I was a hat person because I would have had a field day in this store - piles and piles of unique textures, fabrics, and styling. But an all-purpose hat was on the grocery list and I finally found The One at ARTH. Go, go, go.

And yes, I'm wearing an amazing ruffled denim romper.

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ATLANTA DISPATCH: RATHBUN'S, RIA'S BLUE BIRD, ROSEBUD, AND LA FONDA.

Alright laddies, the moment you have all been waiting for: my culinary review of Atlanta!!! I discovered Waffle House (and the concept of $3 meals), peach smoothies, and sweet tea vodka on my last trip down South, so I had pretty high expectations for my return this past holiday weekend for Independence Day. And once again, the A did not fail me.


My first meal in Atlanta was at Rathbun's, a fantastic restaurant serving up a variety of innovative, continental dishes. We ordered several small plates, a large plate, and two desserts to share. We might have looked crazy but it was well worth the stares.


We were already off to a good start when the bread basket arrived. One cheesy, savory loaf and one fluffy, buttery loaf.


The White Bean Roasted Garlic Soup was superb. I didn't know soup could change my life in so many ways. Laying atop the hearty puree was a toasted bruschetta topped with parmesan and a mound of sliced field peas (that took on the shape of a lentil). The peas added freshness and a dulled crunch to the smooth texture of the garlicky soup.


The Edamame Potstickers rivaled those of Buddakan's. The rice wrapper was steamed and then lightly pan fried for added texture and stuffed with a creamy edamame puree filling. The earthy flavor of the mushrooms complemented the edamame very well.


The Pickled Green Tomato Carpaccio with Aged Cheddar and Mache (a type of field green) was certainly a new concept for me. The dried, nutty cheese picked up the tangy pickled flavor of the crisp tomato slices and brought me along for the ride. Although I was not absolutely in love with this dish, I think it is quite a clever and original juxtaposition of flavors and textures and I certainly appreciate anyone who dares to step out of boundaries.


The Hot Smoked Salmon Tostados were brilliant. I have never had such thick chunks of smoked salmon before. These cubed lovelies sat atop a schmear of habanero cream cheese, which added a nice heat to the dish. The crispy "chip" the tostado was made of reminded me of the fried wonton wrappers they give away at Chinese restaurants in place of a breadbasket. This leads me to believe Rathbun's tostado chip is egg-based, a creative departure from a traditional corn-based tortilla.


We also shared a large plate of Georgia Shrimp and Logan Turnpike Grits, swirling in a tabasco-scallion butter sauce. MMMmmm, that is some classy Southern goodness. The rich and creamy grits accompanied the heavily-peppered shrimp perfectly while the butter sauce married all the flavors together in a beautiful unison. This was a classic case of Lick-Your-Plate-Clean-Syndrome.


We ordered two desserts. The first of which being the Triple Coconut Cake. I won't speak about this for too long because it was unimpressive, at best. The cake was dry and could have packed more coconut-flavor if it wanted to.


The Red Velvet Cheesecake, on the other hand, was OOC (Out. Of. Control.). Better than cheesecake and better than red velvet cake. Herein lies the matrimonial sanctity of two already-beloved desserts. And sometimes too much of a good thing is acceptable. The cheesecake was rich, creamy, indulgent, and had that familiar cocoa flavor of the South's favorite cake. And OK SIDE NOTE: did ANYONE else think that red velvet cake was a mixture of raspberry and chocolate!!?!? No?? Just me?? OK.


The next morning we had brunch at Ria's Bluebird, an adorable diner with a sweet outdoor back patio serving up your traditional Southern fare with a plethora of vegetarian-friendly offerings.


I started off with a nice iced coffee...such a stark difference from the sewage I normally pay $6 for at Starbucks.


And my Early Bird plate!!! Two scrambled eggs, SOYSAGE, sweet potato cake, and an English muffin. Man, I love soysage. This plate had the makings of the perfect Egg Soysage McMuffin!!! What a rarity. And...can I have please have a moment of silence for the sweet potato cake?!? How do they make those little discs of magic!?!?! Essentially soft sweet potato pie filling heated up on the griddle for just the slightest crisp touch...marvelous.


Our next brunch was at Rosebud, a chic yet quaint place to grab a meal made of local and regional ingredients. I opted for the Big Fat Greek Omelette - a triple layer monster made of cracked olives, sundried tomatoes, goat feta, and fingerling potatoes. The omelette was thick, fluffy, and stuffed with great fixins'.


You will be hard pressed to find a restaurant open on Sundays in Atlanta. I don't know what they are smokin' down in the South because I think restaurants open on Sunday make a KILLING. But I guess they believe in something called "rest" down there. My last meal in Atlanta was at La Fonda Latina, which is small Mexican joint that has a few locations throughout the city. We started off with some guacamole and gratis salsa. The guac was acidic and chunky, just the way I like it.


The margaritas weren't half bad albeit a bit weak compared to our traditional weekend binges at Tortilla Flats.


My fish tacos made from grilled, seasoned tilapia, lettuce, tomato, and sour cream jalapeno sauce were a bit watery (distinctly different from the term juicy) but not horrendous. I definitely scarfed those babies down without any verbal complaints. With it came a side of rice and beans, which all priced out nicely at $7.25. Wow, I can't even get a burrito and a fountain soda from Chipotle at that price. I'll take it.

Atlanta definitely has some pretty great culinary offerings. I tried a broad range of restaurants from fine, casual, chain, to locavore and did not find myself disappointed. I must emphasize that Rathbun's is an absolute must when it comes to fine dining in Atlanta. Hoping to find myself back in Atlanta to continue eating my way through this great city.