AN ODE TO TO.

So it turns out you can pretty much see all of Toronto in about 12 hours. Which is why Craig and I decided to forgo our last day in TO and head back a day early to our beloved New York City. Toronto is interesting because every area kind of reminds you of another city - it was a mixture of NY, DC, ATL, Bean-town, SF, and Pittsburgh with just the slightest touch of Europe. There were so many high-rise residential buildings, but I felt like the city was empty. Thankfully, I managed to observe a few people that DID traverse the streets of TO...and below are my TOP TEN GENERALIZATIONS ABOUT TORONTONIANS:

1. Everyone in Toronto likes to drink caloric beverages.

2. Everyone in Toronto drinks coffee late in the evening, like 10pm and onwards.

3. Everyone in Toronto shops at really amazing, organic, Dean and Deluca-esque grocery stores because apparently those are the only types of grocery stores that exist in Toronto.

4. You are more likely to find everyone in Toronto shopping in a grocery store or for electronic goods at 11pm on a Friday night than out at a bar.

5. Everyone in Toronto who wears glasses wears glasses that look like this. With the "invisible" lenses and douch-ey side frames.

6. No one in Toronto carries a designer handbag.

7. Every man in Toronto walks a dog that is meant for little girls.

8. Everyone in Toronto walks around wearing a cap and/or a tshirt that represents a city in which they do not inhabit.

9. Everyone in Toronto speaks normal English until they either end their sentence (which is signified by the term "eh") or says the word "out."

10. Everyone in Toronto likes to eat icecream.

Now that I have accurately described every person that lives in Toronto, let me begin my account of CRAIG AND JEAN'S BUDGET ADVENTURE IN TORONTO. Uhm, YEA I used the b-word because GUESS WHAT EVERYONE. My AMEX bill arrived in my email inbox (GO GREEN!) and guess who no longer has ANY MONEY and needs to resort to selling her ivy-league eggs to the highest bidder?!?! It was imperative that I made the most of my every CAD.


Upon entering Toronto, we took a 40-minute AIRPORT EXPRESS bus ride to the Global Village Hostel, which is located conveniently in downtown TO. We wanted to book a private double room but unfortunately they were all booked, so we had to settle for a 6-person DORM ROOM. But this actually fit better into our BUDGET-trip anyways. Look at the ominous Torontoan sky. And also please note the CN Tower, second highest building in the world.


After a short nap, Choz-Trillionaire and I headed down towards the Harbourfront because naturally we love a water feature. We found this funny man-made beach and decided it reminded us of a Seurat painting.


We then bravely entered their metro station and found our way to the Yorkdale Shopping Center. You know how much I ADORE the suburbs and going to cheesy CHAIN RESTAURANTS!!!!!! So naturally I needed to get back in touch with my childhood youth and revisit the RAINFOREST CAFE!!!!!!!! Got seated right next to the fountain and had myself an order of fish tacos (which is a new addition to their menu).


It took all my willpower to NOT order the CHOCOLATE VOLCANO from Rainforest Cafe...and I opted for dessert from YOGEN FRUZ, which is Toronto's pitiful attempt at New York's Pinkberry/Red Mango. The yogurt comes in weird astronaut spacefood-like blocks...which are unwrapped, thrown into a blending machine, mixed around, and then squirted into a cup. I don't get it. Why did it have to come in those blocks??? Why couldn't it have already come in the soft-serve machine??? Pre-blended??


Well anyways - this is what it turns out looking like. Tastes pretty good, just don't understand the additional labor necessary in creating this dessert. Americans are all about efficiency.


Afterwards, we took the metro back down and went to take a closer look at the CN Tower. Going to CN Tower is one of those things that you have to do with your Asian tourist family because a single, young tourist is NOT going to shell out 35 CAD to wait on line, ride an elevator, stand on a glass floor, and induce nausea. I don't find overlooking any city very exhilarating anyways. BUDGET-trip, come on!!!!!!!


We then walked around discovering other little parts of Toronto, namely Church Street, which is Toronto's gay district. Gay men in Toronto are of an older variety...and typically look like cowboys.


We began our tourism on Saturday by first purchasing a weekend Metro pass - which is potentially the best bargain in all of Toronto. Originally a day pass is 9 CAD. On weekends, you can SHARE the weekend pass with someone, so the price of your weekend pass becomes 4.5 CAD. Brilliance. We happily took the metro up to see the CASA LOMA. We got off at the wrong station...I mean...we took a scenic route there....


Casa Loma is a castle in Toronto that was once owned by Sir Henry Pellet, the man who brought electricity to Toronto and have a variety of other successful business ventures. He decided to build himself a castle fit for royalty at the cost of $3.5 million. As a result of this endeavor, Sir Pellet became bankrupt, lost all of his money, and ended up having to stay in the home of other friends and even his former driver for the remainder of his life. In the US, we scoff at numbers like because the Vanderbilts and Rockefellers spent more than triple that on their own estates in America...and managed not to become bankrupt. Take that, Canada!


They were having a RENAISSSANCE FAIR at the castle...lucky us!!


Gorgeous backyard!! Reminds me of Disneyworld...or NEVERLAND!?!?!


Afterwards we headed up to Yorkville to enjoy a bit of al fresco dining at Remy's. Cute brick-building-ed part of town with many shops and restaurants to spend away an afternoon.

We hit up CABBAGETOWN afterwards - which is supposed to be just a really multi-ethnic community. I didn't really notice anything connecting this neighborhood together...and why CABBAGE!?!? Questions I may never know the answer to. We were confused and decided to promptly leave the neighborhood and jumped on a bus heading down the hustle and bustle of Queen Street.


We then headed back down to their Harbourfront to attend the World Routes music festival. Nearby I found icecream that claimed to be the best in Toronto. It was OK.


Here we are being cute on the dock.


I'm pretty sure I was listening to Ghanian music but I cannot be sure...


For dinner that evening we went to explore Toronto's GREEKTOWN and ate dinner at Myth. It wasn't like I was back in Athens, but it was definitely an appreciated attempt.

After dinner we returned to our hostel which is actually quite the party scene and held the first live performance of the Trillionaire Troupe, made friends with some British folk, some Germans, and some Mexicans, and popped champagne.

Sunday morning we rode the Airport Express bus back to the Continental terminal and never shelled out $50 quicker to get on standby and return to the BETTER side of the border. Good bye, Toronto.