NO SUCH THING AS A FREE EVENT.

OK so you know how everyone is always like "OMG, I adoreeeeeee New York in the summer time!!!! There are all these amazing free events in the parks and there is something new to do every day of my life and I love ittttt!!!!" Being that it is now nearing the end of July, I couldn't help but feel a little bit upset as I have been away from from the city for a good majority of the summer thus far and I felt I was missing out on my share of the typically New York summer. So this week, I happened to jam pack my schedule with some conventional New York summer activities.

Well, I now officially hate free events in New York!! You are just SETTING yourself up for disaster and the possibility of being touched by strangers. As if New York is already not annoying enough with its small sidewalks that are entirely overcrowded - you are just putting yourself into an even smaller space with even MORE people. That's so funny, THANKS NEW YORK CITY!! Pick the tiniest crevice in the city, offer free popcorn, and laugh from atop the Empire State building as you observe hundreds/thousands of people trailing over like ants and spilling atop each other like the sprinkles in that Verizon commerical.


For example, last night I arrived at the Great Lawn in Central Park for the New York Philharmonic Concerts in the Park series and was faced with this MOB upon arrival. OK, so this picture isn't really doing the whole situation any justice. Basically every square inch of this 13-acre area was completely SATURATED with New Yorkers, their dirty blankets, and their cheap bottles of vino. It was literally a lawn made of people. Doesn't that seem like some kind of sick joke??? A great location for anyone conjuring up a terrorist attack??? My group smartly opted for a spot on the outer ring of the perimeter (slightly less crowded), could barely hear the symphony orchestra, and also happened to sit in a location where the fireworks were blocked by a large row of trees - AWESOME. Furthermore, when you go to events like this be prepared to feel the need to GAG yourself because everyone thinks this is a really great "DATE IDEA" - so ingenious and romantic - and makes out all over the grassy fields.


So at least sound waves travel and eventually and to some extent we were able to "enjoy" music. When it comes to watching free movies in NYC, be prepared to get nasty, cut people, and leave your conscience at home. Hudson River Park projects several movies throughout the summer at Pier 54 - which happens to be a FLAT piece of CONCRETE. The movies begin at dusk...and we arrived around 8pm (a little late) and not surprisingly faced feet upon feet of massive, tightly spaced crowds leading up to a tiny projection screen. The screen is entirely too small to see if you set up shop anywhere from the middle to the back of the pier, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and just started walking towards the front. Aimlessly.


Well we made it to the "front" - at least until we hit this strange area in the front with rows of chairs. I am assuming these seats are for people that arrived at 8pm the night before.


The massive blob of people that we screwed over, who have probably been waiting there since 5pm.


But in the end no one won because this was my view of Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona once I sat down. Heck yea, I got the sweetest view of the top left corner of the screen the whole night. Coming to these types of events are great practice for your IMAGINATION as you will need to VISUALIZE the entire movie in your head. OK so can we all agree that free events in New York are a no-win situation?? And that they are a waste of time??? For everybody???

Well at least we got to stop by Co afterwards for pizza. I have been meaning to try this place for the longest time!!


We opted for the Popeye pizza - with pecorino, gruyere, mozzarella, spinach, black pepper, and garlic. A little too salty and a little too heavy on the spinach. This pizza was screaming for better balance - in both taste and ingredient ratios.


But the Bird's Nest pizza was a winner - with raschera, parmesan, shaved asparagus, quail eggs, and shaved black truffle. This pizza was indulgent!! There was a great balance between the crispness of the asparagus, the strong earthy flavors of the truffle, mixed with the delicious cheese, and I loved spreading the runny yolk over my slice for a little extra richness. If this pizza didn't exist, I would have had nothing nice to say about Co. And it just so happens it was the most expensive pizza on the menu. Which teaches everyone a lesson - sometimes it is worth it to pay for happiness and the good things in life.