This Sunday, I decided to see what it would feel like to be a hipster grifter in Brooklyn. OK - so actually I didn't really decide on this. I just happened to be in Williamsburg and thought it might be funny if I ran into that sly Kari Ferrell somewheres on the streets. What do people in Williamsburg do??? They always seem so busy looking for vintage clothing, designing new tattoos, and not eating. But when they do eat - they are probably eating something VEGAN. Which is exactly what I ate at Bliss Cafe. Bliss Cafe is so hipster that they don't even have a website...whoaaaa, totally retro!
I ate the Bliss Bowl - which was essentially steamed vegetables, seaweed, black beans, cubed sweet potatoes, kale, a mound of brown rice, and some grilled tempeh topped with lemon-tahini miso dressing. It was one of those meals that you feel good about eating because you're just stuffing yourself with nutrients. Hipsters are sooo healthy and definitely get their recommended daily share of fiber.
Next up we were off to Hugs for a scroll show, because that's what hipsters do. You've probably never heard of a scroll show before and its probably because you're not a hipster. Basically, hipsters think that movies are like scrolls aka movie reels aka we all knew that aka a scroll show is just a movie. Hipsters are sooo revolutionary and post modern! Anyways, I am being mean and actually their scroll show (atleast the one that I caught) was super hilarious. Also please note that my camera is AWFUL but above is the picture of the scroll show. I'm sorry I'm not a rich hipster and can't afford one of those really expensive Nikon cameras and also all the necessary equipment for making scroll shows/movies. HOW DO HIPSTERS MAKE ALL THIS MONEY!?!?! OK, back on track here - so there was a movie playing on a projection screen in the background while we listened to this hilarious muppet's monologue about tomatoes. You give him a diced tomato and he will vomit. Give him a whole tomato cultivated from someone's garden and he might consider eating it. Now he's going to plant his own tomatoes in his own garden, he's going off the deep end. OK that doesn't sound funny but it really was.
Then we went over to the Cameo Gallery, which is this "hidden" bar in the back of Lovin' Cup Cafe - ohhhh those hipsters are sooo secretive!! - and watched the
DAS RACIST show!!!!!!! You know how much I LOVE their Pizza Hut/Taco Bell song!!!!!!! The show was really small - only about 24 people were there. 20 of the people were their actual friends...the remainder were the 3 people I came with and myself. So it was an intimate gathering. Das Racist was hilarious and I rocked out the way hipsters do. By now it was 2am on a Sunday and being a hipster had made me tres tired. So I took the L train home...the opposite way of the hipsters.
I ate the Bliss Bowl - which was essentially steamed vegetables, seaweed, black beans, cubed sweet potatoes, kale, a mound of brown rice, and some grilled tempeh topped with lemon-tahini miso dressing. It was one of those meals that you feel good about eating because you're just stuffing yourself with nutrients. Hipsters are sooo healthy and definitely get their recommended daily share of fiber.
Next up we were off to Hugs for a scroll show, because that's what hipsters do. You've probably never heard of a scroll show before and its probably because you're not a hipster. Basically, hipsters think that movies are like scrolls aka movie reels aka we all knew that aka a scroll show is just a movie. Hipsters are sooo revolutionary and post modern! Anyways, I am being mean and actually their scroll show (atleast the one that I caught) was super hilarious. Also please note that my camera is AWFUL but above is the picture of the scroll show. I'm sorry I'm not a rich hipster and can't afford one of those really expensive Nikon cameras and also all the necessary equipment for making scroll shows/movies. HOW DO HIPSTERS MAKE ALL THIS MONEY!?!?! OK, back on track here - so there was a movie playing on a projection screen in the background while we listened to this hilarious muppet's monologue about tomatoes. You give him a diced tomato and he will vomit. Give him a whole tomato cultivated from someone's garden and he might consider eating it. Now he's going to plant his own tomatoes in his own garden, he's going off the deep end. OK that doesn't sound funny but it really was.
Then we went over to the Cameo Gallery, which is this "hidden" bar in the back of Lovin' Cup Cafe - ohhhh those hipsters are sooo secretive!! - and watched the DAS RACIST show!!!!!!! You know how much I LOVE their Pizza Hut/Taco Bell song!!!!!!! The show was really small - only about 24 people were there. 20 of the people were their actual friends...the remainder were the 3 people I came with and myself. So it was an intimate gathering. Das Racist was hilarious and I rocked out the way hipsters do. By now it was 2am on a Sunday and being a hipster had made me tres tired. So I took the L train home...the opposite way of the hipsters.
1 comments:
"HOW DO HIPSTERS MAKE ALL THIS MONEY!?!?!"
Mommy and daddy. 92% of rent checks in Williamsburg are paid by the tenants' parents. A number of Landlords in Williamsburg have bank accounts in Connecticut, Parsippany, and Minnesota, because it's more convenient for the actual rent-payers.
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