luxe guide to eastern europe.

This post is not meant to be offensive towards anyone. However, for those of you of Hungarian, Czechoslovakian, or Austrian descent, you may want to close your eyes and quickly place your cursor on the X button of this page.

It is now understandable to me why no Luxe City Guide exists for any of the three cities that I visited these past 10 days. There is very little luxury to be found, and I discovered myself yearning to return back to my cosmopolitan lifestyle in Manhattan more than once.

Budapest was a city that had pretty much nothing to offer me - in terms of food, shopping, and relaxation. It was pretty dead, but I will give this city some leeway because I did visit during Easter weekend...which may have been why everything was closed. I was actually most excited to come to this city because I had heard of famed turkish thermal baths that were supposed to be absolutely amazing. I was so ready to relax and pamper myself in some sort of hot spring...until I came to the sad realization that a thermal bath was merely a heated pool.


If you are ever traveling in Budapest, do not go to the Hotel Gellert baths. Ever. Unless you feel like paying $20 USD to enter a YMCA. You know those heated kiddie pools that were always right next to the Olympic sized pool? The ones that only went as shallow as about 4 feet? The ones that everyone would avoid because they claimed all the little kids peed in it, which is why the water was so warm?? Yup. That would be considered a "thermal bath" in Budapest. And don't ever lose your entrance ticket because they will hold you hostage until you either find it, or pay another entrance fee.

Needless to say, arriving at the city of Prague was a much welcome change. This is a quaint little city that is filled with cute cobblestone streets and really interesting architecture. But even when I was sitting in the National Theater watching Giaccomo Puccini's Fanciulla del West, I did not feel particularly fancy or well-cultured. However, that may have been due to the fact that the opera was a Western...

At any rate, I did find something particularly extraordinary being sold in the market squares of Prague.


Introducing the Trdlo. What is that large sugary, cylindrical thing hanging there?? You may ask. This warm, tasty, pastry-like substance was the perfect way to keep warm in the streets during the eradicate snowstorms of Prague - which happened to come every ten minutes. The only thing disappointing about the Trdlo is that the sign is not life-size, and the Trdlo's are in fact...much smaller in scale.


They take some sort of croissant-life dough that is mixed with sugar and cinnamon...and roll it onto large metal cylinders...and then place them on this rotating open-fire/coal heater device...and they roll around until they get crispy and brown. Kind of like those hotdog roller things at 7-11. All the while, you are just staring at it, slobbering and practically throwing money at the vendor so he will take it off the metal cylinder thing as fast as possible.


Oh god, it's delicious. I want five of them stuffed in my face right now.

I found customer service in Eastern Europe to be, for the most part, completely awful. I don't understand why - being that Americans will tend to throw money at you if you are kind, warm, and welcoming. And we are actually stupid enough to probably tip on top of an already included service fee. In most of our dining experiences, we were subject to some sort of cultural discrimination.


Which is why dining at La Veranda was such a welcome change. La Veranda is a Mediterranean restaurant that is located right across from Prague's Spanish Synagogue. We arrived fairly late (probably an hour before closing)...but we were greeted with warm waiters and hosts, who helped us out of our coats, and pushed our seats under our butts. We were then given a free "welcome drink" flute of champagne. At this point we were simply doubling over in amazement in our seats because usually waiters would just laugh at us and not tell us what things were on the menu. Furthermore, the food was absolutely incredible. Two appetizers (baked goats cheese...mmm..), two entrees (chilean sea bass with zucchini..mmmm...), two bottles of wine later...and we found ourselves ordering two desserts...and then a cheese plate to finish. Because they were so nice!! And my molten chocolate cake was supposed to come with sour cherries, but I informed the waiter that I hated sour cherries, and he responded with "Well them we will just give you a larger portion of Pistachio Ice Cream." And then I fell in love with him. This just goes to show you that if you treat Americans nicely...they will order lots of food and throw money at you!!!!

At first glance, I thought that Vienna would be deeply disappointing. Looking back, however, I realized that Vienna was prime for two of the things that I loved most in this life: ice cream and art.

But before I divulge any information about the two things that I love most in this life, I would like to briefly mention three venues that might be of interest to my dear readers.


Cafe Sacher is home of Vienna's most famous dessert: the Sachertorte - which is an apricot-chocolate cake.


Pictured above is the sachertorte...which you will probably notice has a tiny "X" drawn over it. That is because I hated the sachertorte. It was dry chocolate cake that had the tiniest layer of apricot-jam-like-substance wedged in between the cake and the chocolate coating. I believe Betty Crocker would have tasted better than this cake. You will notice, however, I did enjoy the topfenstrudel, which is a delightful cheese strudel that had a slight hint of lemon. Delicious!


Although Vienna is known for their boiled meats and sausage-like things...my traveling companion and I opted to dine in a vegetarian restaurant one evening.


Wrenkh Restaurant had a nice atmosphere...and their food was simple and felt home-y. Additionally, they also had some non-vegetarian options, so this would be a perfect place for people of all dietary-needs to dine. My favorite dish from the entire meal was our salad of lettuce, quinoa, grilled tofu, and warm goat cheese, pictured above. Yummsiesssss.

Kandinsky Cafe was a lovely hidden gem that was listed in our guidebook...which makes it not really hidden...but it was certainly a gem!! The guidebook mentioned it briefly as a place to eat breakfast and read magazines in comfortable quiet setting. It did not mention, however, that the cafe was in fact connected with a bakery that baked all of their goods fresh, on the premises!!


I don't quite know how to describe this amazingness in words. So you will have to understand through this picture. I know there are tons of bakeries in this world...but this one was like a real bakery...with flour and stuff!! And an oven!! And a cute little baker man that didn't really understand English so I would just point to stuff and ask, "Chocolate???" It was more special than other bakeries. Seriously.


Can we just take a brief moment to zoom in on this carb action???? All I can see are mounds of heaven.

OK, and now finally to the good stuff (but really is there anything better than carbs???):

1. Art

As stated before, Vienna is home to some pretty freaking amazing art. As you can see, the Kunsthistorisches Museum itself can be considered artwork..so really you are getting two for the price of one. Look at beautiful art in a beautiful piece of art.

There, I discovered two really cool artists: Arcimboldo and Bernard Pras. Look them up, they are super neato.


For those of you who know me, you may be aware that Gustav Klimt is one of my favorite artists. The Belvedere Palace houses the most impressive Klimt collections in the world...including my favorite, The Kiss, which I have kindly pictured above.

2. Ice cream
The first word you need to learn in German is "eissalon" - which I am assuming means "ice cream parlor" because every time I saw that word, it coincided with my becoming delusional with happiness. I don't know what Vienna does to its ice cream, but they have the fluffiest, most delightful version of ice cream that may even rival the best gelato you can find in Italy.


Tichy Eissalon is a famous parlor that is surprisingly less touristy then I would have imagined. The reason why I suspect this is because none of those little cute ladies dressed up in traditional pink pin-stripe ice cream-serving garb really spoke any English. Their ice cream has been being served since the 1930s and remains to be a local favorite today. Added bonus: generous portions!!!!


They are particularly well known for their Eismarillenknödell, or ice cream dumplings. I don't know how they make them...but basically they are balls of lightly whipped ice cream...with a fruit filling in the middle...and rolled around in other sugary goodness on the outside. They all looked so amazing that we had to get one of each flavor. Of course.


And lastly, my favorite ice cream parlor: Zanoni and Zanoni. This place was so amazing that when I discovered it on my last day in Vienna, I actually went twice within a span of a few hours. I was even served by the same person, but I was not embarrassed. This ice cream will make you want to run up to some kid that just stepped out of the parlor, push him over, steal his ice cream, and sprint away. Or purposely fall/trip/bump into someone's table and have your face conveniently land on their bowl of ice cream. Oooodles of different flavors to choose from, and they are all just simply delicious.


This picture can now be found on dictionary.com under "bliss" and can also be cross-referenced with the word "addict."

Price: Gellert baths $20 USD, trdlo 50 Koruna, La Veranda $100 USD/person, Cafe Sacher $20 USD/person, Wrenkh $60 USD/person, Kandinsky Cafe $10 USD/person, museums $10 USD/person, Tichy 9€, Zanoni & Zanoni 2 €.