THAT FIRST MEAL.

I often spend a good portion of my flights back home pondering what I want for my first meal back in the states. It changes from time to time but usually it involves a salad - strange, right?? It's just that most countries just don't. get. salads!!! Especially the concept of make-your-own salads. And after a gluttinous vacation filled with fatty, indulgent foods...it's nice to finally have a light meal. The salad that I've been ordering quite frequently as of late is the Country Style Salad topped with tuna from Grey Dog. There is something so ridiculously ADDICTING about their house vinaigrette - it is sweet and acidic and absolutely delicious. I find myself soaking up the last of its remains with the soft, herby focaccia bread they provide gratis. It is just a simple mix of greens, grape tomatos, cucumbers, pea shoots, and chick peas (I omit the red onions) but I could definitely eat it every day. For me, it was the perfect welcome-back meal to New York.


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TURKEY.

Oh, HAIII everyone!!!!! I realized I might not have announced to the blogosphere the fact that I've been in TURKEY over the past few days, which is why I have been somewhat MIA. Fear not, as I shall return to New York on Friday afternoon and will have plenty to blog about in the upcoming days. I leave you with a sneak peek at the peaceful waters of the Dalyan River.

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ACNE SURGERY.

OK, so like NOT TO GROSS EVERYONE OUT, but...I'm pretty sure that I'm suffering from a chronic case of ADULT ACNE. And perhaps my symptoms never actually diminished from my teenage years, but I am now approaching an age where I might be considered a GROWN-UP...which means my zits and blackheads now take on a new meaning...and have names like Prince...BKA "Adult Acne."


When you approach the age of 25, you begin to have a PRE-MIDLIFE-CRISIS. And you start over-analyzing EVERYTHING...including your forehead. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS ROADMAP THAT HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY CARVED ONTO MY FACE!?!?!


AND WHY DO I STILLLLLLLL SUFFER FROM ACNE!?!?!? I thought life was supposed to get better after puberty.


So the only solution is to run to the nearest dermatologist and beg him to prescribe the most expensive cure-all that money can buy. Unfortunately, my dermatologist seems to think he can make more money by suggesting that I use SUNSCREEN on my face rather than BOTOX. URGHHHH. That was a disappointment.

And as for the pimples and zits??? He suggested...ACNE SURGERY. Now that's what I was talking about!!! SURGERY, NEEDLES, SCALPELS, LASERS - I wanted RESULTS. FAST.


On the day of my ACNE SURGERY I strolled into the office, all bright-eyed and pimply. I settled myself into the patient's chair and enthusiastically awaited my procedure. The attendant came in and I asked her what exactly acne surgery entailed and what I should expect.

She replied, "Oh nothing, really."


And then proceeded to take out a MINISCULE METAL SPOON with a long handle.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Oh this is what I'm going to use to perform your acne surgery."

I am here to tell you that NO MEDICAL GOOD can come of a METAL SPOON.


And with that, she began SCRAPING and SQUEEZING and SCOOPING OUT my face with a METAL SPOON.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"UHH..A LITTLE." I replied, as she handed me a tissue and instructed me to apply pressure...apparently I was now BLEEDING.

WTF!!?!?!? I signed up for SURGERY. I didn't sign up to be PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED BY A METAL SPOON.


She then showed me the spoon and in it was enough oil to fry up a buffet-tray of hash browns.


I made her stop after my chin had been gnawed off as I couldn't handle any further nerve and tissue damage. I left with the same amount of acne on my face and now also some neato facial scarring on my chin.

I guess I'm going to just have to accept the fact that I'm growing old with these bad boys...which will eventually be BKA "Elderly Acne."

THE STANDARD GRILL.

I've had a series of "MEH"-restaurant experiences over the past few weeks and began to think to myself - Is this it? Have I gotten over eating!!?!? Well fear not, dear reader, you will not be subjected to COMIC BLOGGING for the rest of your lives because my past two dinners have proven acceptable enough to re-prompt my interest in food blogging.

The Standard Grill has long been on my list. The restaurant is truly magnificent - the windows let a spectacular amount of sunlight pour over the mixture of quaint, luxurious, and quirky interior. Plush, traditional, mahogany-colored leather seating mixed with simple, checkered place mats and a floor made entirely of pennies...it's like a picnic with the Kennedy's! I absolutely loved the atmosphere and vibe.


The friendly waiters whisked over a small serving of radishes and some crumbles of Parmesan cheese. Now that's different (OK, yea I saw the radish thing at ABC Kitchen...but the nuggets of cheese?? Brilliant).

We were also ASKED if we would be interested in a bread basket...since when did restaurants inquire about the necessity/desire for a bread basket!?!? I guess too many models and skinny bitches have run rampant through these Meatpacking District streets to warrant a fair warning that CARBS MIGHT TOUCH THIS TABLE!!!!!!!


I started off with the Chilled Avocado Soup - a salty, cool puree of avocado with chunks of peeky toe crab and small scattering of soft croutons. Usually I am against overt saltiness in food, but I actually really enjoyed this sodium-filled concoction. Extremely rich in flavor and textures.

For my main course I had a salad-like mixture of Chilled Lobster, White Beans, Celery, Green Goddess Dressing, and Caviar. How gorgeous is this dish!?!? All the components were well-dressed and worked together to create a refreshing entree. Absolutely lovely.


The Shaved Grapefruit Ice dessert is simply perfect if you need a little sweetness after dinner but don't feel like rolling home in agony and guilt. The shaved ice is SOFT (I don't know HOW they do this) and tastes like REAL grapefruit. Underneath is a tart layer of actual grapefruit chunks and a lightly sweet syrup to accentuate its natural flavors. A cooling and invigorating way to end a meal!!!

My meal at The Standard Grill was certainly a success. All dishes were perfect for a hot summer's eve and the scene was hip but not overbearingly so. Definitely looking forward to a return trip, especially for brunch!!

EMACK AND BOLIO'S.

Reporting live, with sticky hands, from Emack and Bolio's: this wacky ice cream joint (the slightly autistic brother to Ben & Jerry's) has caught my interest every time I walk down Houston Street. Having just had a spicy masala dosa for dinner, I was looking for something cool to calm the heat. Emack and Bolio's has a variety of unique flavors and also several appealing low-fat frozen yogurt options!!

I opted for two scoops - low-fat Key Lime Pie and low-fat Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip. Both of which were stellar and not at all low-in-taste-or-creaminess! The Key Lime Pie had soft chunks of crust in every bite!!! I really had to fight the hard battle at the end of my delicious journey because a layer of my napkin had intently adhered itself to my favorite part of any ice cream cone - the conic point. I controlled my xylophagia and threw the very last, perfect bite out...which leaves me wanting MOOREEEEEE. Stop in and try a flavor in one of their intense chocolate/candy-dipped cones!

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GUEST BLOG: INDIAN FOOD IN AMSTERDAM.

I was beyond surprised when Navneet "Caesar" Garodia volunteered to write a guest blog entry for Essential Luxuries. When he is not busy running the town, Nav can usually be found calculating math equations or watching 3D movies. Being as he is not from this country, his command of the English language is rather shoddy - short sleeves become "half sleeves," daiquiri becomes "dak-eerie," and ping pong becomes a sport. Nevertheless, with the help of Google translate, an electronic Hindi-English dictionary, and Thesaurus.com, Navneet was able to produce this nearly seamless blog post that follows. Without further ado...

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Madras Indian Restaurant, Amsterdam
by Navneet Garodia
Translation by Google.com/Translate

Let me start off this guest blog by thanking you, o reader, for inspiring creativity. Since I'm a big fan of this blog (you are a close second), I am taking the liberty of sharing one of my culinary experiences with you.

My Euro trip began on 7/8/10, and I had gone more than a week without consuming Indian food. At this juncture, I would like to quote my uncle, who had once very famously said that a tiger can go a week without eating meat, but an Indian cannot go a week without eating Indian food. True to his theory, I succumbed to the aroma of Indian food on the 7th day, as I was walking through the streets of Amsterdam.

Madras Indian Restaurant looked like a typical Indian restaurant- the lighting was tastefully dim, there were a couple of TVs screening lavish song and dance sequences, with mellow Bollywood music playing in the background. The menu had a lot to offer, and did wonders to whet my appetite. Since I had been craving Indian food, I decided to go all out. I ordered 2 dishes- Mixed Vegetable Curry and Dal Makhni, along with an order of rice.


Within 30 minutes, I was regaled with the chef's offerings. However, what I saw wasn't really what I had been expecting. Dal Makhni, which is typically brown in color, was presented as a yellow lentil. I bit my lip.


The vegetable curry didn't do much to bolster my flagging spirit. There seemed to be more vegetables in the pot than gravy, and the dish was lacking in texture. I proceeded to scoop out my first spoonful and slop it over the rice.


As the flavor pervaded my taste buds, my discomfiture increased. The lentils tasted like corn, and the rice seemed slightly undercooked. I began to dread the thought of paying 16 Euros for this meal, and gulped down a whole glass of water. The idea of returning to New York and getting a table at Dhaba has never looked better!

Sparky

BIG BAMBU + CASCABEL.

Most of my Saturday was spent on the Upper East Side. I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to check out the American Women exhibition, the Picasso retrospective, and the Big Bambu installation on the Met's rooftop!!


Insanity!!! This crazy bamboo nest-like structure is made of 5000 bamboo poles and will be ever-changing and evolving throughout it's stay at on the Met's roof.


It is literally made of only bamboo and nylon rope...and it is strong enough to allow people to climb up to different levels of the structure!!! Keep in mind that it is necessary to sign up for guided tours if you wish to enter the elevated interior network.


I mean...how architecturally planned could this thing possibly be!??


Love the view from the rooftop through the bamboo poles.


We are all pandas!!!!

A few avenues away is Cascabel Taqueria - home of the luchador. Cascabel is a casual joint featuring Mexican street food with a creative twist.


After surviving the 6 train, having to walk through an art museum, being subjected to Picassos' DELIURIUM expressed via art...I had hit starvation levels. When they told me that it may be a 15-20 minute wait, I went all LUCHADOR on their asses...which only resulted in me having to wait outside.

Thankfully the wait was only about 5 minutes.


Tacos come in an order of two - I had the Pescadao Tacos for myself and shared an order of the Camaron Tacos with my dining partner. The fish tacos were disappointing - crispy yellowfin tuna belly with hearts of palm, cilantro, olives, and onions. The tuna was incredibly dry - I think they seared the tuna to its last dying breath and then deep fried it to top it off...which makes for one tough piece of fish. The shrimp taco was a bit better in terms of moisture level - it was topped with fresh oregano, garlic, chili oil, and black beans. Annnndddd another complaint: the size of these tacos made it extremely difficult to get one solid bite, which makes it extremely difficult to understand the cohesion (if any) of flavors.


My side of Frijoles (local black beans, queso fresco, onion, and cilantro) was pretty good.


My favorite part of the meal - hands down - was the ELOTE ASADO!!!!!! Grilled corn brushed in a Mexican aioli, rubbed down with lime juice, and heavily sprinkled with queso cojita and cascabel chili. YUMYUMYUM. The soft, tender kernels; melty cheese; juicy citrus flavors...I could really eat this for every meal.


Except then I would look like this every day.